All of us had these big goals when we passed out of college. Goals about our jobs, possessions, life partner, where we want to be, etc. And we were hoping to be happy once we get there.
Most of you would agree with what happens next. We end up becoming successful, but happy? Not quite sure.
Yes, there is always that ephemeral happiness we experience. But then something happens and that happiness diminishes and shortly vanishes. Sometimes it turns into worry!
Why does that happen?
Simply because of our deep inherent desire to want a little more and worrying about things beyond our control.
We start earning a handsome salary, but after the initial excitement we feel we deserve more. That initial happiness gives way to frustration.
Sure we deserve more. But should that be a reason to cause unhappiness or misery?
Sometimes it’s even worse, we are doing quite well, but just because we have a friend who is doing even better in terms of wealth, possession or perceived happiness ( thanks to social Media posts) we rob ourselves of our happiness. We feel what we have is not enough. We need a little more to be truly happy.
Most of the time happiness eludes us because we look outside. Happiness is right there within us. We rather choose to focus on the outside more than we should and therefore end up having fewer moments to be happy.
I have realized that achieving goals and targets don’t lead to lasting happiness. Happiness is a state of mind where you are content. If you are constantly expecting something you cannot remain happy for long.
Yes, it’s okay to expect a better job, a better salary, better relations but not all of these are in your control. Similarly, we have issues at workplace, family, or personal relations which lead to unhappiness. But if you look at them closely most of these would be beyond our control.
This realization is important, that you can never control everything. You can do your best but beyond it, we are experiencing unhappiness due to our reaction. One should be prepared to know that things don’t go as we plan and you can do nothing about it. This will help keep you in a content state.
Also if you do things that are in your control, it will help you balance what is not in your control, like Giving, Caring, and Gratitude. By giving someone time or money, by caring for others or by showing gratitude, you would feel more content than ever, even though things around may not be going as per plan and that can lead to happiness eventually.